teachers ..

you hate them. more than that, you love to hate them.. you just dont want them to see you anywhere outside your coll/uni. you talk about them, gossip. you believe they're the dumbest and the most dull personalities on earth. you sometimes see people around you resembling them. you notice the eccentricities of their dialogue and try to imitate it. you try to copy their tone, their words and their expressions,too. Though you dont remember any informative talks with them, your memory is fresh with all the silly incidents and jocular observations you did about your teacher. you ARE obsessed about them. the more you hate them, the more they intrigue you.

You idolize them. o ya.. how many of you have actually had a crush on one of your teachers ? i know .... most of you ! someone which looked young, someone which had that style of speaking (for the girlies), someone which wore red's n blue sari's and looked out of the world (for the guy's). yes. you are just crazy about them. you just want a piece of them, know about them and try to imitate their style. you love them. you ARE again, sadly, obsessed.

there is no other feeling about any other teacher. you just love to hate them or just have an heartache. But what about the teacher ? the person is just a normal living being, with their own eccentricities, with an identity and more importantly, personality. probably they're no worse than you (or better than you) but u still idolise them. the reason, because he/she is you Teacher.
A relationship from which you expect to learn (the academic things) but you end up learning so much more, associating yourself and making them an important part of your life. As for the teacher, he/she is just his own self, unattached and he/she,sadly, doesnt love you or hate you (unless he/she wants to).

you expect so much from the teacher. you expect all the niceties, all the interest in you and all the knowledge. sadly, he's just another human being. He too has his own interests... which definately wont be you.

things things things

well i've heard it n number of times, things change change and keep on changing ...
but why dont they ??
why do you just realise after like sometime that u've ended up at the same point u were before ?
why does a circle exist ? why do people revisit their memories again and like to end up at the same point ?
why ?
Well, science says, Things are static, they dont change unless u apply a force on it. even when you apply energy conservation comes up and tells u that the whole cycle of your energy is used up in something, its becomes something else and probably would be stored back into you .. o cycles ... these cycles annoy ... samsara, the vicious cycle of desires ..... let them thoughts be taught a lesson and prevent your memories to entangle with them ... rein them, those unbridled horses. . . tame them and make them realise that you're better off ... its an experience and there has to be something different somewhere .. something you're missing .. some attribute .. try finding it and you'll find its changed .. not the same again !

the kiddish bullshit

Aaah.. u're 21, big and old enough to face life. ya .. you are ..... but just then you meet your schoolfriends (and there's nothing like meeting after a long time or something, its like we meet every now and then.... ) . you're suddenly in 10th, transported by bonds of camaraderie, the never ending stories and the never ceasing gossip.

Its not a new feeling to me, but, all the while, its better typing it off rather than not. the age when words like 'bada' 'chotta' 'patla' 'mota' 'aage' 'peeche' make u keep on laughing non stop (while the nearby people are wondering what kind of people are these?). the time when any word can be morphed to make you laugh...

pervut, ashole, gaadi ki 'dikky', kabaristan ki thoka thaaki, peepa and god-only-knows how many more 1 liners ... and all the more expressions .... its so obviously stupid, yet all the more comic... the stomachs start aching, eyes red, tears roll and people are forced to bang their hands and faces on the table. yet no one stops laughing. Is this being in 10th ??

the time has passed. yet the memories remain and so do the gossips, the camaraderie and the stories .. is it 10th ?? or is it 3 engineers, 1 doctor and 1 'chemist' just talking some good ol' bullshit ???

growing up

When a child, i was very much keen on growing up and being 18. the age is somehow so curious filled for a boy, making him dream that when at this age, he can do wonders .. know what the life is about and probably get a partner to marry .. and god knows wat shit ..
sadly, the boy learns earlier than 18 that the girl-boy thing and marriage thing is just a part of life .
but yaa .. the curiousity remains ..
at 18, u get to go to theatres, feel adult and be free ... and if u're lucky, you get to do what you actually desire of and to the parents, you dont need to give a damn .. another thing which happens at 18 is that you get to vote and participate in the society (thats too idealistic, but the post is about voting.. sadly).
when you reach 18, you just realize that there was nothing so great about it ... the movies, you've already seen, its just a common thing now and its not anymore curious... all that you get at 18 is the saddest thing .. you get to stand in queues and wait .. you have to wait for licence making, for college admissions, for bank operations and god knows what all .. hell, you even have to stand in queues for using public toilets, if its crowded, cause u cant give an excuse that u're a kid and cant control ur piss..
whatever, being a children is so way cooler. . no lines, you get all the things because of your 'innocence' factor and adults go way ahead to make you get what you want ... if your mom doesnt, your papa would . if he doesnt your relative or bigger brother/sister etc would give to your whims and provide you with all the things you need with a spoon ....

now, i finally turned 18 and got a voter ID card .. i even had the opportunity to vote .. sounds really exciting, participating in the biggest democratic process. being a part of the big society .. but sadly here too you had to wait in a line to get your turn. had i been too old or too young, i'd just have gone inside the booth and done the process.. (i tried to go inside, trying to be oversmart and pretending i couldnt see the line, had to walk out of the poll booth and join the line, thats when i decided to right about this post). anyways i got to vote and felt really satisfied when the results came out. plus, seeing the indelible ink on your index finger is way too cool. the color changes from light sky blue to dark blue to purple to brown and it finally wears off ... just reminds you of being a citizen who thinks about the society ... theres nothing else that is cool about being 18 ... ... nothing

but anyways, believe me, being old just makes get to know what is right or wrong. if you're not so lucky, probably you wont be able to understand what is right . right is right but wrong is also right. it just depends .. complex, convoluted life has no easy way out .. no shortcut (if you try shortcuts, you'd just enter the line like me). just toil and logic ..